Three things are certain in life, Death, Taxes and Runs N Throses using all of their allotted time to make a draft pick.
Yep, I am back, sort of.
Your illustrious Commish, during a lapse in sanity, has given me access to comment on the happenings of the TBFL since I have nothing better to do during the NFL Throwball season.
Let us begin my weekly (or not so weekly) report on all things TBFL by giving a clear, level-headed, unbiased review of the 2008 TBFL Selection Meeting.
Armed N Dangerous
AnD came into the draft stacked at quarterback with The Gunslinger, Tony Romo and Aaron Rodgers. The rest of the roster is irrelevant as the only thing that matters about this team is that we can track the progress of The Gunslinger as he nears 300 career Favres, though you may call them interceptions. I was a little disappointed to see that The Gunslinger did not hit the 300 mark last season, but we all know The Gunslinger is all about boosting his career stats and I just knew he was coming back to make sure he cemented his legacy as the all-time leader in career Favres.
Bay Area Thrashers
The Thrashers sent your favorite all-time TBFL team, Morning Wood, into retirement on a bitter note by defeating the Wood in the championship game last season. The BAT selected Reggie Bush at the end of round one at which point draft prognosticators told anyone who would listen that they should have selected Mario Williams. Williams 18.5 career sacks versus 15 career touchdowns for Reggie Bush, point proven.
Fudgie Whales
The Whales draft can be summed up by four words … Jay Cutler … Jason Campbell. Here are four more … Are you truly serious? Thanks for donating to the TBFL cause.
Hurricanes
The Hurricanes went out on a limb and selected LaDainian Tomlinson with the #1overall pick. Did someone tell the Hurricanes that the TE position is not required? If that rule ever changes though, the ‘Canes are all set.
Marauders
The Marauders keepers were something to behold. Whoever left those gems for this roster was a freaking genius. I guess the Marauders didn’t quite understand that LenDale White does not get points for pounds of food eaten.
Money Inc
Tatum Bell, quite a steal. Yes, that is low-lying fruit but come on you have to take it. It is quite ironic though that Bell best carry as a Lion was taking someone else’s gear.
Playground Legends
By far, the Legends selected the best set of back up running backs in the league. Guess we are going to see a lot of Run –n- Shoot out of the Legends this year. Can someone let Chad Johnson know that 85 in Spanish is actually Ochenta Cinco?
Runs N Throses
Another team that somehow beat the awesome Morning Wood for a league championship. I really want to mock the Throses draft but overall I think they did a great job, of course when you take all of your allotted time, you better do well. The Commish is eagerly awaiting your weekly phone call to make your roster moves. It is nice to know that some things will never change.
South Park Cows
The Cows produced a decent draft, but can you really count on Elisha Nelson Manning and David Garrard? With a weakened division it looks like the Cows might actually procure a playoff spot and might actually produce a winning record.
UO Grandmasters
Well, lookie here. We got yet another team that defeated the Morning Wood to win the TBFL Championship. Rumor has it that the Wood ownership is still bitter at the six-point loss. Let us squash those rumors right now; they are bitter that they never got their PS3 or Blu-Ray player from someone who worked for Sony. I mean they contributed to letting the Grandmasters ownership propel their life forward and the Wood still have not received a thank you. Let us hope that the Grandmasters can someday make up for their complete ungratefulness.
Warriors
One of the only things more certain than The Ohio State University Buckeyes destroying the Michigan Wolverines AGAIN, is that the Warriors will have yet another horrid season. It has been 1,751 days since Michigan last beat Ohio State in a football game, just about the same amount of time it has been since the Warriors had a winning record against the Morning Wood. The Warriors selected Mario Manningham with their last selection; at least Manningham is used to losing big games, so he will fit right in with this team.
X-Factor
Due to selecting the greatness that is Troy Smith, the X-Factor proved that while related to the Warriors, they can make much better decisions. Look for a sweep of the Warriors by X-Factor dooming the Warriors to a 4th place finish.
Until next weekish, enjoy the Throwball.